upgraders:

*loses a fight irl* wtf bro rematch I was lagging 

francisfordfiesta:

according to physics, nothing ever quite touches. when you lay your hand on something, there is a microscopic amount of space between the atoms of your hand and whatever you’re touching. so no, officer, technically i’m not jacking off right now

oraldiarrhea:

hatos:

What if birds had four legs? Need answer

image

alltimeboners:

trencherrr:

alltimeboners:

thisworldisfucked:

alltimeboners:

alltimeboners:

i dropped my apple in the toilet

image

did you decide oh im going to the bathroom better bring an apple with me

basically yes

why is there a cat 

he was helping

(Source: me-living-my-life)

youknowyourebritishwhen:

I saw this on facebook and started crying. 

‘what do i do’

(Source: youknowyourebritishwhen)

merylstreepismymom:

This was my photo on grindr and I got banned

merylstreepismymom:

This was my photo on grindr and I got banned

timelord-hails-glowcloud:

lookslikeajobforthewinchesters:

geekscoutcookies:

I AM HERE FOR EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS. 

It is a testament to this website that I immediately thought she had shorn off his ass with a sword and not that she had stolen his treasure

Me too lol

(Source: velannas)

equestrianfangirlswag:

nerdinessboundaries:

candle-lit-fornication:

hazelgranger:

there is not a better feeling than someone playing with your hair

Or running their fingers down your back.

Unless you thought you were alone.

shit

(Source: wheazley)

consolecadet:

if you ever need to turn down unwanted sexual advances, do it Dr. Seuss style

I would not fuck you in a box

I would not fuck you wearing socks

I would not fuck you here or there

I would not fuck you anywhere

jaclcfrost:

virska:

jaclcfrost:

n3w-n0t3:

jaclcfrost:

vanilla extract smells so right but tastes so wrong

just like play doh

And deodorant

and perfume

and soap

life is full of so much deception and trickery